Why Youth Ministry isn’t destroying the Church!

Recently I have been seeing more and more articles on Facebook from Christians bashing youth ministry because we are segregating teens and destroying their faith. I do understand that in blog posts we can all use a title that is a little over the top in order to get a point across. My problem with these articles is they seem to throw the baby out with the bath water and attack us in ministry who are dedicating our time to try and reach youth with the gospel.

These articles seem to come to the concussion that any segregation will lead to youth having shallow faith focused solely on themselves. Having a youth ministry that focuses only on teen’s leads to problem in the Church as a whole. I totally agree but this is not the goal of most youth ministries. The problem with this view of youth ministry is twofold. First almost every youth ministry I know has seen this problem and been addressing it for years. Most of us in youth ministry have for a long time now been working to get more adults involved in our ministries. We have been focusing on bringing adults and students together in meaningful ways. Not just manual labor but real ministry. We in youth ministry take very seriously the faith of the young people God, parents and the congregations have entrusted to our care. To say we haven’t been doing this misses out of the goal of every good youth ministry to bring kids to a greater faith in Christ.

So here is my problem with the no segregation crowd. It just doesn’t work in real life. My experience of trying to do family based bible study and everything else together has problems all the way around. First we struggle to make something that is meaningful for all the age groups. Whatever group we gear our bible study or other activity for we miss another group of people. The second issue I have is that most parents are very ill equipped to share and answer questions of faith they have not grappled with themselves.

We currently live in a very de-churched culture with little biblical knowledge to pass on to our children. Youth ministries are there to help parents share the faith. When we don’t segregate we can’t always speak to that group. I have found that in our confirmation ministry is has been most helpful making parents attend class as well. It allows them to grow in faith and have chances to share faith with their kids. But it isn’t the whole answer because many of our families don’t have two parents or even one parent that this is where having other adults, and teens to speak to each other can be very helpful. Also many students are not willing to ask us questions when their parents are in the room. They need to deal with these issues with adults and teens together. You just can’t expect teens in a group of adults talk about issues in a group where they aren’t the majority and feel safe to talk. Youth ministry needs to have adults who can share faith with them but saying we have to do everything in a large group setting misses this dynamic.

Lastly the biggest problem I have with no segregation is it seems to assume all kids and student have two parent homes. My experience is that many of the youth in our youth ministries do not have two parents at home. Many times in my experience they may not even have one parent who is Christian. This youth ministry you are so quick to attack for many kids is the only adult and teen in their life who can speak Jesus into their lives. Youth ministry can be a safe place they can attend in order to hear the gospel when they don’t hear it at home.

So I guess what I am saying is stop trouncing youth ministries. Stop attacking those who are dedicating their lives to share the gospel with students in a way that speaks to them. Don’t pretend like sitting us all in a room when we will teach like all adults will work. When having events geared to youth is some kind of bad thing. Sometimes it is the only way we can reach them. To my youth ministry friends. Let’s make sure our youth ministry programs don’t get in the way of our youth participating and experiencing the greater Christian Church. We have a lot to learn from each other but it is ok to have things geared toward our students to help them grow in faith.

Gentleness and Respect!

One of the toughest things I think any Christian is asked to do is speak the truth with gentleness and respect. This week with the college students we were going through 1 Peter Chapter 3 and we came across the speak the truth and Gospel to them with gentleness and respect.  I hate this verse because I fail at it so much.

In ministry and life I find that it is so easy to get angry and frustrated.  With Facebook and other social medias I find it more and more difficult to contain that anger and frustration.  It is so easy in the social media realm to be impulsive and write something that is very angry and disrespectful.  It is also easy to be taken the wrong way.  We as Christians need to be better prepared speak is such a way that invites conversation not accusation.

I, like you, have failed at this. Even in past posts I have struggled to tow the line.  We as Christians need to be about speaking with gentleness and respect to each others but also to those who do not believe the same way we do.  This is not a play on being tolerant as our world would have us be. I sometime fell that our world says we are intolerant when we speak out about a moral issue or speak out about something against our belief.  It is however intolerant to believe you are the only one worth hearing.  When we run over people, call them names, belittle them or just ignore them we miss an opportunity to share with them our faith and understanding of this world.

Last year I went to a Muslim groups event where they brought it a person to talk about the differences between Muslims, Jews, and Christians.  It was a very enlightening presentation.  He was actually very fair about Christians and Jews.  My biggest annoyance at the event were some of the Christians. They were so confrontational and rude that it made me as a Christian want to speak up against the Christian in the room who wouldn’t let the man speak.  He used Christian lingo and basically called the man and idiot and trying to brain wash people for talking about Islam.  I walked away from the encounter thoroughly frustrated with my Christian brother in Christ.  He didn’t open the dialog he just attacked the man and how evil he thought he was.  We as Christians can and should be better.

So my question for you is where are you in this struggle?  Where do you fall short?  As you think about the people you encounter who differ from you how are you responding in gentleness and respect?

in Christ,

Steve Wilson